The Bad Habit Of Being Easily Offended

Are you easily offended?

If I know that my name is Becky, is it going to rock my world if a stranger on the street mistakes me for a woman named Barbara?  No. My response is more likely to be, “Well, that was weird” and not give it much thought afterwards. I know without a shadow of a doubt that my name is Becky; there’s no question about it.  I chalk it up to the person being mistaken about who I am or what they saw when they looked at me. I don’t go home and spend days thinking, “Should my parents have named me Barbara?” “Do I look like a Barbara?”  “Maybe I should change my name to Barbara.” 

 

Then why are we so quick to take personal offense when people say something ignorant or mistaken to us, especially if it doesn’t align with what we know is true?  If you truly know who you are, can you be an easily offended person? I don’t think you can.  It’s the bad habit of being easily offended.

 

We are only offended if the offensive comment has some portion of truth in it.  Coming to grips with the truth is what most people spend their entire life trying to avoid.  If you’re tall and someone calls you short, is your immediate response, “That guy is mistaken?”  Or do you think, “Is he making fun of how freakishly tall I am?” Our assumptions are what triggers our insecurities.  

 

When you approach life giving others the benefit of the doubt, you become a “not easily offended” person.  Other people might hear a snarky comment, but your first thought is, “He probably didn’t mean it like that.”  Usually you give people the benefit of the doubt because you never intend to hurt other people’s feelings. You’re not TRYING to make others feel bad about themselves.

 

But if you’re hurting inside, you have a tendency to want to hurt others.  You assume what they said was meant to hurt you because that’s how YOU would have said it too. The insecurities you thought you’d locked away suddenly come out of their cage.

 

We’re all 1 of 2 types of people:

 

Type 1

If you’re easily annoyed, you’re most likely Type 1.  Are you someone who’s easily offended? Are you someone who offends others easily?  Most likely, you’re both. In my experience, someone who offends others easily is usually easily offended by others.

Do you recognize these responses?

 

Someone calls you selfish. You respond, “They’re just jealous.”

Someone calls you rude. You respond, “They’re just too sensitive.”

Someone calls you soft. You respond, “They’re just not empathetic.”

We pass our offenses off on others.  It can’t be a problem with me so it must be a problem with them.  That’s definitely the easiest way to live life. I’m not responsible for how others react to me. It’s their problem, not mine.  But that would have to work both ways. When someone else offends you, your response would have to be “It’s not their fault it hurt my feelings. It’s my problem that I took offense to it.”

 

Type 2

If it takes a lot to get you riled up, you’re most likely Type 2. You don’t even realize when someone’s trying to put you down because you know how to handle it. Either you know how to laugh at yourself or you take it as constructive criticism. Your first thought to a rude comment is that they probably didn’t mean it the way it sounded.  Or you may think, “I’ve never seen myself that way. Maybe I should talk to that person about it.”  

 

You might be completely oblivious to the insult all together because you really don’t value that person’s opinion anyway.  This has happened to me more times than I can count. LOL!! Someone will later say to me, “Can you believe they said that!”  My response is usually “Yes!” But it truly doesn’t bother me because the person who made the rude comment doesn’t really know me.

 

Now, before I make myself sound like a complete ass, please know that it has taken me half a lifetime to not care about everyone liking me.  But when it comes to my family, my friends and my children, of course I care what they think! Of course, I want them to like me and say nice things about me.  After all, if the people that know you the most, like you the least, you have a serious problem.

 

We can all get our feelings hurt.  We are all human. And as humans, we are not perfect.  We have insecurities about our imperfections. But getting your feelings hurt and being easily offended are two very different things.  Getting your feelings hurt happens when someone leans on your insecurities to purposely make you feel bad about yourself. Being offended is a choice you make to be annoyed instead of choosing to try to understand.

 

Let me say this again. Those who are easily offended, often offend others easily.

 

The only way you bulletproof yourself against offensive is to become secure in who you are.  And the only way you become sure of who you are is by testing yourself, testing your capabilities and testing your truth about yourself.  It would be beautiful to live in a world where the only thing that is offensive are people that are easily offended by everything.